...Who We Really Are

***Things Change***

Know Thyself, Find Thy Power

I woke up around a quarter to five today (A little earlier than what I’d planned for the day, which was six o’clock), and something powerful came over me. Last night before bed, I knew that today would be a pressing day with all of the goals I set out for myself to get done. I almost feel as though “at times” I am am pressing myself way too much…like I’m trying to make up for the years that I played the role of “mediocre robot of society”, and trying to magically catch up for all of the lost time in about 6 months! I know that’s a part of me though; when I know what I want, or, I have a task at hand (a specific task at hand, in other words a pretty clear plan or direction), I tend to get it done with flying colors, or at least put in a hustler effort to do so. I’ve always had a great work ethic, and that’s something that I value. I value that ability that I have. I may have had many J-O-Bs in my lifetime so far, but, there isn’t one where my work ethic and nurturing nature to the work was not picked up on. In addition, even though I didn’t finish a degree, and have been to multiple colleges, there isn’t one where I did not excel and achieve above average work. I’ve had a grammar school teacher, as well as a professor, encourage me to write books, as I have always done my best in literature and writing classes…Well, that’s to be expected because it’s something I love to do. Any who, not to brag about myself, but just to begin the story, at this point in my life, I am realizing that the potentials that I have to do great work doesn’t have to be just tamed to fit in workplaces, and/or schools solely. I believe the reason I may have downplayed my abilities throughout my life thus far is because that was as far as the “box” looked to me. I wasn’t always as goal oriented as I am now. I wasn’t a “Think Bigger”. I didn’t have a direction, a focus. I didn’t have a truly realized desire. So, I didn’t have the drive that I needed to really explore my gifts and abilities and use them for me! I feel sometimes certain gifts or strengths that we have are made to be our resources to be the best that we can be in our “growing stages”. They are there for us to use as leverage in this life. They are excellent chances to progress and grow as individuals. I always had an inner, quiet dream, a calm desire. Never did I, up until recently, take full advantage of the resources WITHIN me in order to GROW my desire on a constant basis so that it could mature and be a BURNING DESIRE and create a snowball effect to my dreams.

Do I regret this? Absolutely not. Why? I am too overjoyed that favor is on our side, meaning I think that it doesn’t have to take nearly as long for a person to change their life around, make amazing creations, and grown beyond their wildest dreams, as the amount of time that same individuals was down and out and living an “unsatisfying life”. Change can happen, and in a favorable amount of time. The old sayings like, “It takes a person twice as long to get over an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend as the time that they were with the person.” is bologna and hoopla mixed together. We “boo hoo” longer than we have to because we choose to, not because we have to. #The Problem With Our Society!

… Any who, just simply using a great work ethic for ME for a change has motivated me to work for myself more and has done a lot of good in the process of creating the life that I want, and even helped me to do some good in the world for the benefit of others. #Food For Thought # Life Looks Brighter This Way!

I’ve been using that great work ethic quality that I seemed to be oh-so-good-at in EVERYTHING else, finally for me by working harder towards bettering myself and achieving my life’s desires. This leads me again to this morning when I woke up. I woke up from a dream (around a quarter to 6) and I COULD have went back to sleep. After all, I had planned to wake up at 6 and not a quarter to 4. God had something else in mind…and since I am leaning on God, and praying so much lately, I feel as thought I can read the messages that I get much clearer, and without doubt.

So anyway, I found myself thinking away, as I often do, and before I knew it I was analyzing myself altogether and pumping myself up about my goals and the thought came into my head…”You’re up doing all of this thinking and trying to get back to sleep so you can wake up at 6, why not just get up now! No one’s telling you not to. Your doubting if you can get your goals done in such a short period of time, why not push yourself even more!…Set even higher standards! You’ve worked 3^rd shift before for a measly paycheck so you can work any hour for an abundant life! Get up now and reclaim your assurance of your excellent work ethic! If it’s possible, do it! This is not a J-O-B that you are working for, this is your life!” Yes, the little Billy Blanks grew in my head and before I knew it I was up starting my daily routine a few hours earlier than normal, and feeling more energized than ever. I prayed for the help of God to get things on my list done today and prepared to get to work. This is when the thought came to me to share this with you. After all, I do believe that when we strengthen our gifts, when we use them for our own life to fuel and shape our desires and to produce great things in our life, THEN we grow to value them, and when we see just how much they “love” us, we can easily share our talents, our gifts, with others. (Ideally, this is the way I think the world should be, BUT, back to reality, huh? )

There’s two points that I want to make from here. Here’s the first…

Point #1: When I woke up with all that energy, I realized something else, that knowing myself is where I find my power. The more I‘ve grown in personal development, the more I‘ve discovered the things that are important, and the more powerful I‘ve become. (I’m feeling teacher-like)…You might want to right that down…“Knowing myself is where I find power”. Yes, indeed. I TRULY BELIEVE that this equates into KNOWING YOUR VALUES. I had heard this teaching some time ago from a video online…at the time I was like a mad person trying to learn the world of internet marketing (I’m sure SOME-body can relate). I was trying so hard to learn all that I could and listen to people who claimed to be “gurus” or successful in the business. Well, apparently this particular guy knew what he was talking about. I remember his whole video was on the importance of writing down and knowing your values. Clearly, no matter what business you are trying to get into, it is important that you know what it is exactly that you want out of it and how closely it’s attached and/or aligned with your values. The more you know this the more successful you will be. In order to know what you want out of something, you have to know what you want out of life, and you have to know who you are! That might sound like a little over the top, but I believe it to be the truth because it makes good sense. If you know what you want out of life, if you know what’s important to you, and know your values, then, along the way you will better be able to, first of all, stay focused when you have a goal, because if your goals are clearly created around your values the goal will remain important to you and then that means you will have no doubt about how much you want it and how hard you are willing to work for it. If your are getting into a business, or trying something new in life being in tuned with your values will be your assessment tester at hand. Is what you are doing in aligned with your values? You will be able to take a hard look at the things you are currently doing, the people you are associating with, the things you are involved in, and even the current goals you are claiming to have, and be able to assess them and see if they are truly in alignment with your values.

Thankfully, I have been keeping this importance in my mind lately after reading “Smart Women Finish Rich” by David Bach. (Still reading J ) He talks about his first step in a consultation with someone about their financial situation. The first thing he does in a session is have the person to acknowledge their values buy creating a “value ladder”. He has them go through a process in order to do this. At the end of the process it becomes clear to the individuals what their values are. He mentions the wide variety of ages of women that have come into his office, from women in their 20s to women older than 70. In all brackets, it’s apparent how little people know about the things that matter most to them in life. This, and not the actual money itself, is what has the power in your life. For example, you may say that money motivates you, but, what really motivates you is the things you can do or get or feel from the money. If you say you want money but get lost on the way to finding why you want the money, you might not get as much money as you COULD get if you made it clear why you wanted it in the first place. In fact, knowing your values has power to create, and maintain, the financial situation that you want. It has the power to help you design a truly desirable destination and make all the plans necessary to get there AND give you untiring determination to get there, and get all the tools you need to get there.

After I woke up (Yes, you guessed it), I started thinking of my values. I was going over the things that I had established to be extremely high on my priority list, value wise, and before I knew it that is when an energy source was found. Why else would I get up at a quarter to five in the morning, unless I had a sleeping problem, or somewhere I “had” to go? BECAUSE I HAD SOMETHING TO DO - FOR ME. I saw visions of what was important to me and I couldn’t sleep on that. Knowing that I had more creating to do to bring those visions into my physical world gave me more than a reason to get up and do SOMETHING in alignment with this! I realized, that while being happy and enjoying the present, enjoying nature, (and all that good stuff) is important to do, it’s my duty to work to create and maintain the things that I love most in this life. What else is there to live for?! (Other than the moments we have J )

I understand that the most successful people owning their own business sometimes, treat their business like a child, with care and SERIOUSNESS. (Ok, pause, I hope you’re not getting done of my excessive CAP using, it rubbed off on me after reading the book “Think and Grow Rich”; it’s how the book is written.) Back-to-the-story->> They work with dedication in and out of the storm, through the ups and the downs, obediently. If a child is crying hysterically in the middle of the night, you wouldn’t neglect them. You would cater to them. Why? BECAUSE. They are VALUABLE. They are IMPORTANT, they are PRECIOUS. This might not even cross your mind as you get up to go see what’s wrong with them, but, you do it anyway, almost on autopilot. Because it’s embedded already in your mind how important they are, you obediently take care of and nurture them…whether they are giving you a tough time or not. If this is you, congratulations, you can identify one of your values; seeing or knowing that your children or your family are safe or happy! Still, what are your other values? Or, because many people have not done this evaluation throughout their whole life, the real question is what WOULD bring you utter fulfillment in life…is it anything that you don’t FULLY have as much control over as you would like to yet? An example of a general value would be freedom. This indeed is one for me…specifically financial freedom; the ability to purchase a yacht IF I choose. The ability to send a family on a vacation IF I choose. The ability to donate a large amount of money to a charity if I choose. The ability to take a 6 month vacation without working hard if I choose. The ability to study in another country just because I want to, when I want to and for what I want to…if I choose. The ability to get up at anytime of the day, and plan a day freely, of things that I choose to do with absolutely NO PRESSURE behind them. The ability to incorporate things into my life as I choose to. I could go on, of course. That is what freedom means to me, to be able to explore the world and myself, freely and to the extent of my desire. Sometimes if we would love ourselves as much as we would love a child, we would see that there is nothing wrong with that, and that it would make our lives that much better. There is everything right about discovering your values and living your life accordingly.

Knowing your values, clearly has the potential to show you who you really are… clearly.

When you know yourself this much, you have a power that could not be formed otherwise. It’s the clarity that gives you peace AND POWER and is what brings me to my next point…

Point #2 I previously came up with an analogy to help give me a “push” or extra “power” towards some of my aspirations. The analogy went something like this…

I was “pumping myself up” as I try to do often. I came up with a car analogy (Car analogies are good for just about anything in life…Cars, games, and athletes) LOL - Ok, whew, back to the story here (guys, it’s early in the morning, give me a break)… I said to myself, I just needed to find a “pedal.” I was looking for a power source, and I named it a pedal…thinking of how the pedal of a car, with the press of your foot, can get you where you need to go, and, if you press all the way down, it can get you there fast. Well, I told myself I was ready to put the pedal to the metal! I knew I wanted a better life, so if I could just find that pedal I would damn near brake it! I knew what my vision was. Visions of things I want out of my future. I told myself that (in the mist of pondering over plans of success that I had been trying to sincerely develop)…I told myself that I had the desire to make my vision true, but that I just needed a pedal!…Something I could use that would make me feel like I was definitely in the driver seat and driving. Some might call this a “lucky break”. I saw the “pedal” in my mind as something that was going to be given to me; something to be that special something, an opportunity, or a person, or a organization, that would help give me the gas that I needed or a “pedal” that would provide as the chance for me to take myself and my desires to go flying through traffic! This sounded good in my head, right? Since then, I have gotten more than one opportunity. Sure, I could have used probably plenty of opportunities that have come my way to use as a pedal. But something was still missing. After I saw something, or learned about something and identified it as an opportunity or potential “pedal”, I didn’t feel that extreme excitement that I was looking forward to when I found my pedal! At first, I thought, well, maybe it just wasn’t the pedal I was looking for. I thought that if I had my vision of success, a plan that could be accommodated to fit my pedal, and some desire, then that was a sure remedy for success, that I could practically celebrate because of the guaranteed ride! That wasn’t the case. That left me feeling rather salty. I knew my vision was real, my desire was real, my plans (although in the beta stage) were real and feasible, and I was on the right track (or at least in the right vicinity). Still SOMETHING was tempting to make my vision fade in and out, SOMETHING was nagging at me saying that I didn’t have all of the pieces. SOMETHING was almost laughing at me, telling me that my dreams were a joke and hadn’t crossed over into reality and that the guarantee of them ever doing so was still non-existent. I continued my momentum of “striving for positive” even though I was feeling this way, thank God, but, it wasn’t at the pace, or the energy level that I knew I should be. I knew that if a life of financial freedom, a 6 month vacation, or a travel around the world was waiting on me, then it would only make sense that I would have a high energy level, a high determination, a high motivation to get to getting! So, why wasn’t I feeling this way! Why can’t I believe whole heartedly that I can create whatever life experience that I desire!….Fear. Pure fear. The killer of all dreams is fear. Nothing more and nothing less. Fear of “What if this “opportunity” has faults?”, “What if I should take that opportunity and not this one?”, “What if I can’t finish ____ in enough time according to this opportunity?”, “What if I don’t get the support I was hoping for, for a particular opportunity?”, “What if I let this opportunity slip out of my hands?” “What if I can’t hold up to the creditials?”, “What if I fall back to square 1 and have to endure the pain and face the demons, and the people, that I thought this opportunity was lifting me away from?” “What if, what if, what if!” With external depending factors, there will always be a what if! As long as you depend on something outside of yourself to be a piece to your puzzle then you will always have a level of insecurity stunting your growth and impairing your energy and momentum! This is one of the laws of nature. All that we need to succeed is what is IN us. Everything and anything outside of us is here for our use, our intelligent and creative tools within us is what helps us to evaluate these things outside of us and use them in the best way for the best use….but they don’t make our success! If one opportunity doesn’t work, there will ALWAYS be another one created or possible to create. The level of our success does NOT depreciate depending on our circumstances or our opportunities, yet it increases depending on our own ABILITIES and BELIEFS. THAT is what we should salute…not the circumstances or opportunities themselves. Don’t be more grateful for an opportunity than you are for your ability to take advantage of that opportunity! When you strengthen that ability to take advantage of it, then chances are you can take advantage of many more if need be! Thus, you are creating stability and security within yourself and your abilities, giving you the confidence to race and not merely run to your goals. Now THAT’S what you call power! Chances are, with this mindset, you ARE successful before you ever see success. THEN you have the energy to be as engaged in your celebration now as you will be when you achieve what it is you are aiming for!…The best part: No one or nothing can phase you in between!

Moral of it all? My values, my internal reasons for doing all that I do, for wanting all that I want, turned out to be my “pedal”. I would never find more of a perfect pedal anywhere outside of myself; not in any opportunity, person, or organization. YOU WILL NOT FIND YOUR PEDAL OUTSIDE OF YOU. You will not find a pedal, that last forever, outside of you. Any pedal that will be consistent and full of gas whenever you need it will be inside of you. A true pedal will always be there and can take you wherever you want to go, no matter how long the ride is, no matter what the traffic looks like. It is consistent and has an untiring determination to get you where you truly want to go…Now that is one magical pedal!

Where do you want to go? Well, get to driving!

What You Didn't Know About Sex

Do You Ever Feel Empty?

A vast amount of individuals go day in and day out carrying on with their automatic daily activities without enjoying their moments to the fullest because of reasons like, "feeling empty". Walking around like zombies, many people are on autopilot and in "search" mode; always feeling in need of something and searching for something to make them feel better. Often this "something" is another person; a person who can make them "feel better". Some people may even use others for sex or misuse sex because of this mysterious need they have because sex is portrayed as the closest feeling that humans can get to the feeling of being “whole” and complete, without truly acknowledging the fullness and wholeness within themselves. Others may know that more is missing to that puzzle and actually desire complete relationships in order to get their fix.

Where does this feeling of  "a road to nowhere" or emptiness come from? Many may connect this emptiness with not having a significant other in their lives. Additionally, people who have that "significant other" and still feel empty often connect it to missing some major purpose to their life. This is a subject I feel like I should touch on because I once felt this way.  Sometimes we may simply wonder sometimes, “What the heck am I, or should I, be doing?” I can say now that being single does NOT have to equate into feeling empty, nor does not knowing what your purpose is. Are you one of these people who still feels this way? Well, let me ask you this; what if you are someone who never meets that "significant other" with whom they truly have a connection with?  I'm not trying to be negative, in fact, I'm trying to put a positive twist to this here. Ok, so you go all of your life and don't meet that "perfect" and "special" someone of your dreams... if you knew this was going to be your case, would you still keep going on feeling empty? Would you still feel like the only thing that could fill that "empty space" was a significant other. Or, would you be willing to move towards another strategy for finding that deep contentment with your life? There may be nothing wrong with searching, but, once you find a direction that leads to nowhere, it may be time to move on to the next avenue for the true sake of your happiness. I hope anyone reading this would agree.

In either case, if you have been longing for the right partner to finally come along, or whether you are one who cannot seem to understand or find their major purpose in life, or if you have been trying to fill an "emptiness" with anything else that just doesn't seem to be cutting the cake, then my answer or solution to the problem is the same for all cases. Stop thinking about that "missing piece" you don't have, and fathom the idea of being happy with the things you do have and the things you do know. Sound like you've heard this before? You probably have, but have you consistently tried to apply this to your life to see if it worked any at filling that stubborn empty space?

If you truly desire someone to be with, but are complacent and happy with where you are by yourself, then eventually you may attract them in your life. If your main desire is to find a purpose, but you learn to be at peace and happy in the "now" by being grateful and focusing on all that you do know, then you can attract answers to your purpose in life. I've found, from my personal experience, that I knew some of my desires way before I realized I knew them. Many times we know those desires that we have, or those things that we love to do, but we get caught up in trying to figure out "how" we can realistically incorporate them into our already conditioned lives, as well as in comparing them to the incomparable successes of others.

The bottom line is we get to thinking too much. When you think so much, and it leads you no where and to no answers, then that means something about your thinking is wrong. As long as you are thinking about not being happy or having that stubborn emptiness, then you are simply not going to be happy. So to get the opposite effect, it would just make sense to stop thinking about it all, and finally make some room to put on your happy face. Ironic? Yes, a little.

It is important to gain control of our mind and then we will start to gain the wisdom to work on the root of some of the emotional or mental roadblocks we may have. If you keep asking why, how, and who to the point of getting frustrated with yourself or life, you will just get burnt out and further saturate your mind with the truth that you are clueless. Sometimes we have to learn how to just be as we are. Instead of being fretful, be faithful. Instead of going through life with worry and doubt in the forefront of your mind, learn to walk with happy thoughts, and be self complimenting. This is something you can change now; you don’t have to wait for any person or answer to come into your life. What this will do is change your way of thinking and change your attitude and, of course, change the way you feel about life and how you attract things. My definition of depression is, obsessive focus on "emptiness" or some thing or quality that you don’t have or that went "wrong". Focusing on simply ANYTHING positive in place of those focuses, could almost guarantee significant movement pass any depression.

The fact is, you are complete and whole even by yourself; whether it's you and honey, or just you, or whether you've narrowed down and defined your purpose or not.

No matter how much you are self evolving or practicing personal development, there is always room and a need for self-reflection so that you don't plug out of the realization that everything begins within you. We all need a reminder sometimes. YOU are what makes YOU complete and full. So it will never be a matter of waiting on that something to fill your life. This is the case no matter what you believe to be the cause of your emptiness; whether you feel deprived of a lover, money, friends, happiness, etc. NOTHING can fill you or define you without your approval. So, if you want something you don't even have in your possession to define you, go ahead. I don't recommend it though. You might find your life to be pretty two-faced with a "battle of the faces" you can't control. The fact is you can't focus equally on controlling outside matters while controlling yourself as well and win the battle. But, when you fully focus on controlling just you instead, and being the best you can be in that area, then like a bonus, your outside matters will be more prone to adapt to the environment of you and be to your own personal liking. Sounds good to me. ;-)

Everything you will ever need to be you to the fullest is in you. All these outside forces and materials of our world are just that. They are outside, and as much as we have the right to enjoy being surrounded by them, they will never get inside of us and we should never attempt for them to get them to cross that line.... anything that we need to repair or "tweak" inside of us has to be done within us. If you remember this then you will gain some power. After all, if you are seeking a partnership and you knew that you could attract things and people similar to you, wouldn't you want someone who is stable and secure, accepting of their life with or without you, happy, and not depending on anyone or anything outside of them?...Someone who is sure of themselves, strong, and able to enlighten others? I don't know about you but that sounds like a winner to me!

So, if you are feeling "empty", you can start filling yourself up now...mentally, spiritually, and knowledgeably. Decide you are going to be sure of yourself despite the epiphanies you haven't encountered yet. When you are always questioning yourself and overly anxious for answers, instead of peacefully and diligently trusting in the answers with peaceful action, the answers never come. When you are fickle and easily swayed or determined by outside people, outside forces, or material things, then you will never be stable or full. Instead you will always feel...well, empty.

Be Hungry!!!

Motivational speaker Les Brown talks about being HUNGRY!... Hungry for life that is.

Reason Behind Polygamy?

So, I was thinking about this particular topic of polygamy. No matter how much it may be swept under the rug, in America or in other countries..."it" is still here. From my research lately, it's very much so here. Very here. Ok, so I might not have just be as grammatically correct as I should have been, but, well, it's very here.

Like many, when I first heard of the concept being a practice and not merely "cheating", I was a little shocked, sure. Obviously, it's nothing new though. When I was introduced the idea I was at a young age. I went to a Catholic school from first to twelfth grade, so I'm sure the subject came up there a few times, as it relates to practices and cultures relating to theology.

In fact, Polygamy is not cheating at all.


Let's look at the definition of cheating:
Cheating: Refers to the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a competitive situation. The rules infringed may be explicit or they may be from an unwritten code of conduct based on morality, ethics or custom, making the identification of cheating a subjective process. Cheating can refer specifically to marital infidelity. Someone who is known for cheating is referred to as a "cheat" in British English and a "cheater" in American English. - Wikipedia

Oh boy. So there are a lot of components that classify someone as a cheater. This definition also proves a polygamist not to be a cheater.


Here's why:
1. Based on polygamy, the code of conduct clearly expresses that not only are you allowed to have multiple partners, but you can further prove your commitment to your multiple partners simultaneously by marrying each and living in the same home.

2. It's technically not infidelity. Infidelity is when a partner goes against the rules of their commitment. In polygamy the rules simply allow for multiple partners. Polygamy itself is not infidelity. Perhaps there may be rules or expectations within a polygamist marriage, such as no one within the marriage being allowed to have secret outside relationships.

3. Polygamy eliminates the competitive factor. If the multiple partners of a polygamist all know and accept their place within the collective relationship. There is not much to compete with. However, my natural woman instinct tells me that these women do, indeed, have times when they either secretly feel in competition for the man, as he may not be able to, or choose, to give each woman an equal amount of attention. Then again, you will hear people like Ellie Drake, founder of BraveheartWomen.com, say that it is not in a woman's nature to be competitive. Buuuuuut, this also doesn't mean that it's in a woman's nature to want to share her man.

*Please note, Ellie Drake is happily married, and I have no idea what her or her husband's preferences are within their marriage.*

Maybe, just maybe, Ellie Drake has a point...Well, no, I totally agree with her...But, maybe, just maybe, when multiple women are put in a situation where they have to share one thing that they all have a deep connection to, or really love, (you know how women love, "When a woman loves a man, she loves for real" - R-Kelly) then maybe they are forced into a abnormal condition in which their ego is forced to be apparent, as a natural instinct to defend themselves and claim their "territory". Again, this behavior, in my opinion, is not suited for a woman to have on a regular basis. ....Remember, it might be in our nature to not want to share our man. Hey, obviously you don't have to agree with this. This is simply my observation and inclination. I won't ever know if my theory is correct until I speak with a woman in this type of position and she sincerely expresses herself to me.



On That Note...
I don't personally know anyone in a polygamist relationship. However, I have had the opportunity to know of someone who is. =) So, I set out to find him. I wasn't sure how he would respond to me wanting to interview him on this subject. He's actually pretty famous and I actually had a hard time catching up with him. Amazingly, I finally did. I was so thankful that he agreed to do this interview with me and at no cost! He told me he valued his beliefs and completely understands people's opposition towards it simply because they have not tried to understand things from the source. Additionally, another man who I had the opportunity of meeting while getting in contact with Akon is a polygamist as well. He agreed to join in on the interview to give his input as well. I told them about my blog and how my mission is to create an environment where education and inspiration is focused on, open-mindedness is embraced, and opinion bashing is banned. Of course, I mentioned to them my opinion about women feeling abnormal competition within a polygamist relationship. Akon replied, "I understand how you can think that. It's just not that way, though."

Interview With Akon and Hebrew:  

Me: Have you ever considered being in a monogamist relationship?
Akon: I prefer polygamy. I can afford to have as many wives as I can afford to have.

Me: Do your wives ever get jealous of each other?
Akon: No. It depends. If they grew up in the culture then they don't get jealous at all, because they understand the culture.

Me: So, they don't ever get jealous? How is their relationship with each other?
Akon: No, since they understand the culture they don't get jealous. They talk on the phones with each other, they go shopping together… everything. It's normal.

Me: So do you consider this to be a cultural thing, or do you believe it to be a natural "man" thing?
Akon: Both.

Me: I just have this feeling or perception that it's not natural or, rather it's not "right". Would you say that this is a perception I have just because I was raised to believe monogamy is right and polygamy is wrong? How do you explain to others why you practice polygamy?
Hebrew: See, you have to understand that the Europeans flipped the script on us and turned the whole thing around and the reality is, we can do it. It's a natural process for us to do it, and our women know it's a natural process, but society has molded them to do something that is not natural. Europeans don't physically desire women like the black man desires women. Then they made it against the law. Yahweh didn’t' make it against the law.

Me: I hear you. So what are your feelings about gay marriages being legal?
Hebrew: "They" changed the laws to fit their nature and what they do. They don't condemn homosexuality even when the biblical law says kill a man that lies with a man. Then, they make it wrong to have more than one wife!

Me: Wow. Is this something that you guys grew up around or is this a practice you developed later in life?
Akon: No, it's a family and a culture thing. My dad has four wives.


Me: What about adultery? Aren't you committing adultery?
Hebrew: Adultery is when a man sleeps with another man's wife.

Me: So, since you are a man practicing polygamy, if you sleep with another woman who is not anyone's wife, it's not adultery?
Hebrew: No.

Me: Akon, I haven't heard too much about you being a polygamist in the media. To be honest, I don't ever hear much about polygamy period. Why do you think it's so shunned and swept under the rug. Are polygamist ashamed? How do you keep your marriages under wraps being a popular rap star?
Akon: I actually got a call from the President of a particular country in Africa once advising me to not speak about the subject publicly, that he didn't want it to be promoted.

Me: Why?
Akon: I'm in a industry where they promote fornication, drugs, and a lot of negative things. The practice of polygamy would surely be misunderstood in all of that. I don't have multiple girlfriends and mistreat women. I have wives.

Me: Are you implying having multiple girlfriends is different from having multiple wives?
Hebrew: We're not players or pimps. So, yes it's different. On the other hand, the media doesn't mind portraying us to have laid with a thousand groupies, but, when a man has multiple wives who he takes care of it's a problem? They want us to be thrown off and foolish and teach our women to be the same way.

Me: Obviously, you are strong in your beliefs. Do you then think that monogamy is wrong?
Hebrew: If a man wants one wife, let him have one wife. If a man want's multiple wives, let him have multiple wives. You have all of these men cheating and wondering what's wrong with them. They feel as though they need to continue to pray to get "lust" out of them, thinking that they are doing something against God. They cheat on their wife and feel bad thinking that they love her, but, wonder why they can't leave another one alone. It's simple, if you go against your nature, you're gonna lose.

Me: In other words, what you practice is normal. Correct?
Hebrew: From the beginning of time, man had more than one wife, and it is prevalent throughout the bible.

Me: This might be a lot to take in for a lot of people today.
Akon:You just have to take the time to understand a guy. When you understand a man you understand a world.



...Did You Know?
Did you know that there is also something called "group marriages"? Fascinating? Well, of course! For those of us who rarely see a man with multiple wives, seeing a group of multiple wives and husbands might be strikingly eye catching. A group marriage is when the marriage involves multiple husbands and wives. No, this is not fictitious, it's real life. How’s that for you swingers? (If you are a swinger I deeply hope you are not offended by my previous comment. It's all in fun. ) Group marriages are a type of polygamy. There are three types; one, polygyny, where a man has multiple wives (the more popular version), two, polyandry, where a woman has multiple husbands (the more fantasized version), and three, group marriage, where there are multiple wives and husbands. Polygyny is the form of polygamy that definitely seems to be more common, or heard of. Why? I guess the world will never know. However, I can say that the collective man seems to embrace the idea of more than one partner far more than the collective woman does. I could interview a hundred men and a hundred women at random in different parts of this country, and perhaps others, and ask them all the same question, "Would you like to marry more than one of the opposite sex at the same time?" I'm inclined to believe that the majority of men would say, "Yes!", and the majority of women would say "No. I'm fine with one husband." Do you catch my drift? Why do more men accept, embrace, and agree with the idea of polygamy? Maybe it's because they desire the variety of women. Why do more women reject and disagree with polygamy? You tell me. Is it because they feel it's not morally right? Do many women secretly agree with a man having multiple wives?

I can say, if I did take a poll, that every answer may not be the same. It's just like asking someone if their religion or spiritual belief is right or wrong. It seems impossible to get everyone to agree and will always be based upon a belief system. Some matters, however, go beyond religion, and I believe that polygamy is one of them. This is a matter of us as men and women. Essentially, we are all the same. What is it that we truly collectively believe in when it comes to life partners? Isn't this more than a marriage thing? After all, the United States does not even allow individuals to marry more than one person (one person at a time). They are allowed to divorce and re-marry but cannot be married to more than one person at a time. This does not mean that there are not people here who agree with and practice the essence of polygamy acts. They just simple don't have the marriage label, or, they might marry one woman, and still openly have other women living with them as partners. After thinking about this, I find it extremely interesting that the United States doesn't allow them to marry with all the other things that the they "allow". I get the feeling that this is primarily for religious reasons. The gays had to fight for their marriages to be legal in some states. They still are fighting in other states where it is not yet legal. Yes, I did say "yet" because they are winning with their collective efforts. This makes me wonder, if there where a lot more polygamist believers in America, would there be a fight for their rights in marriage?

A marriage bonds people together by ceremony and paper. What about those who don't believe in marriage? They still have relationships. When you strip religion and marriage away, we all still have something in common; relationships. Now that we're down to the core of things, you have three types of people; those that have intimate relationships with multiple partners at the same time while all parties are all aware of the entailments, those that have intimate relationships with multiple partners at the same time with the intentions of keeping affairs a secret, and those who only have intimate relationships with one person at time. Where do you fit in? Is there one that is the best for the sake of a human being? Gosh, I'd like to know if there was an answer for this. Unfortunately, like most things in life there may not be a definite answer. In other words this topic is up for an infinite discussion.

The question is definitely not if Polygamy is cheating. I won't even say that the question is whether it is wrong or right. I will say that the question is do you or don't you agree with Polygamy, and why. Very few people agree with cheating as it goes against good intentions, but, there are many, of those same people, who do agree with polygamy.


Do you agree with polygamy or don't you? Why?...
Hum? What was that? I can't hear you, please comment below!


Final Thoughts
My only other thoughts on this subject, is how do you propose to multiple women at the same time?
Do you just do one at a time? How does the scenery play out for this? Does the man decide on a specific number of wives that he would like to have and seek for that number until he is satisfied, or does he just marry however many he chooses as he goes throughout his life. Is there a limit to the number of wives that is deemed respectable? Does divorce ever happen amongst situations of polygamy? If so, how do the remaining wives feel about the particular divorce? Is infidelity as prevalent within a polygamy driven society as it is in the monogamist society? (Infidelity is a breach of the expressed or implied exclusivities expectations, usually regarding sexual matters.)... Are there even any strict expectations of sexual exclusivities within a polygamist marriage? What about those in America who practice this without the marriage vows; are there restrictions here, or is it just labeled an "open relationship".

As you can see I have a lot of questions on the subject.

Are you a polygamist? If so, feel free to feel me in on your experience and possibly answer some of my curiosities. Are you not a polygamist? Please feel free to join the topic. I believe it is necessary to be open to the many practices of this world in order to be worldly. Please comment. Don't be shy.
:-)



If you are a party of any of the scenarios that I have presented in this post, please contact me. I would like to interview you for further posts on this subject and/or relating subjects.You can contact me via the "Contact Me" button above or email me directly at msperkins7@gmail.com.

*Please note: Interview with Akon is not real. It is based off of an real interview.*
You can view the real interview below. I have posted Part 1 and Part 2 of an interview with Akon regarding the subject of men having more than one wife.

A Guide to the "Whys & Hows" of Detoxing

Click Here For A Cleasing Guide For "First Timers"

It's Not Just Foods That Fill Our Bodies With Toxins

Click Here For Some Important Information On Why We Must Detox Our Body

Love

noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.


–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

---dictionary.reference.com

How to Stick to A Detox - Battling Temptation

If your like me, when you first begin a detox, fear of failure is already starring you in the face, in the form of chocolate cake donuts you so conveniently see your co-workers eating, or a family size supreme pizza laid out on the kitchen table that someone at home so conveniently ordered so that as soon as you walk in the door, you would see it!

Prepare yourself for the Battle of the Foods!

The temptation of food is always around us, and isn't going anywhere just because you are on a detox. Many of us don't even realize that we have food addictions. This is what you need to realize before you begin. If you've ever started something and didn't finish, it means you weren't prepared to deal with whatever it was that made you give up. In this case, you need to be prepared for the temptation of the foods that you are not allowed to eat on your detox! Do what you need to do in order to minimize temptation. You definitely can't control what other people eat, but, it might help to tell those that you live with what you are doing. It might also help to explain why you are detoxing. If they can understand your health concerns and goals and see how important they are to you, and, they are generous enough, they might agree to kindly hide certain things from you, particularly those things that you have a weakness for, or they might even opt to join you on some level and incorporate more healthy foods into their diet. This would be especially helpful if you typically eat together with the people you live with.

If this method doesn't work in terms of minimizing your temptation, just prepare yourself on a mental level to avoid it or reject it. This definitely takes strength and practice, especially if this is something fairly new to you. By strength I mean you need to be telling yourself to stay strong! You need to remind yourself of why you’re doing it and how that purpose will never be accomplished unless you follow through!

Here are some positive affirmations that might help you do this:

I am capable of doing this.

I am taking very good care of my body.

I value my body

I value the results of my effort.

While doing this, my digestive system is getting the rest it has been asking for.

I appreciate my body's ability to heal.

I respect my body.

I am strong enough, I have plenty of will.

I am worth this much.

If others can do it, I can too.


These are just some things that you can tell yourself throughout the process to keep you strong and focused until the end.


I also mentioned that it takes practice. Once you get through one detox, even if you get through it half way :), you are that much more capable of having success the next time around.  In addition, you need to train yourself during the course of a detox by practicing to resist temptation, and also, diligently eating or drinking the things that you are required to have throughout your detox whether it is a juicing that you are doing, a fasting, a raw food detox, or if you are taking herbal detox pills, and, whether you are doing it for a day or a month.  If you have a hard time resisting a particular type of food, or something that you should not do while on a detox, such as drinking coffee or consuming alcohol, then you need to practice not giving in to that weakness. For example, if you are doing everything right, but, you just can't seem to give up coffee, or you just can't seem to resist that free drink at the bar on a night out with your friends. Don't do it!  It's easy to understand that you are used to doing something, but, if you are on a strict detox then resisting those things that have the strongest temptation will give you the best discipline to carry on successfully.  Part of good discipline is learning how to say no to yourself and to others.  This is important for achieving the goal that you are setting for yourself.  For example, when you finally say no to something you could not seem to say no to before, even if you have to just build up the spontaneous strength do so, you will be proud of yourself and find it much easier the next time the opportunity comes around.  You have to make up your mind that you will reach your goal, no matter what.  If you can help your surroundings that's great, but, you never know what you might be faced with.  I decided once to detox during Memorial Day weekend surrounded by food!  However, I had my mind set on what I was doing, so I didn't give in to all of the temptation!

As always, you should be learning to practice a certain amount of maintenance in between your detoxes.  The more you learn about your body, the more you are willing to help it.  Becoming mindful of what you put into your body helps you to not always "over do it" and to start gaining control over some of your food addictions... When you kick some eating habits, you might realize that that's exactly what they were; addictions.  Remember, you don't have to live to eat, but you should definitely eat to live.

The Mystery of Success

Have you ever wondered about the things that separate the successful from the unsuccessful, the happy from the depressed, and the healthy from the unhealthy? I have, in fact, become obsessed with this particular wonder. Why? Well, if you want something bad enough, you tend to go after it. I'm not sure about you, but, I want to be successful. When I say successful, I'm not just speaking of making lots of money. When I focus on making money, I surely like to be successful at it! However, I'm talking about being successful in multiple areas of life. To rephrase it, I'm speaking about being successful at life.

One thing you should get into your mind is the right perception and idea of the meaning "success". Most people go straight to thinking of just money or having a high status in society or in the corporate world. Surely, these are things that accompany successful people, but, there's more to the concept. Gaining money is something that you can be successful at, but, you can be successful, as I was implying, at anything good in life. In other words, the money and the material things will never define your true success. View the money, the statuses, and other material accumulation as perks. On the other hand, view success as an umbrella under which all these things can reside under. You see, success is not determined by outcomes, results, or any accumulation of material value. It's actually determined by your performance in a given area, with your performance being a complexity of the approaches you take towards building the things you desire. The constructed outcomes are perks you get for being successful.  In addition, your success can be determined by how you protect, maintain, and nurture those perks. 

How often do you hear about famous athletes being evaluated for their performance? This is probably the majority of the time. Rarely, are they solely evaluated by the number of games they win. For one, most times, they are not in the game as a separate entity. They are in the game as a part of a team. You should start viewing yourself as a part of a team. Successful people build teams with other successful people and people who are like-minded in terms of their goals.  Just as that athlete has to take into consideration his teammates, many times it may take the help of others, or additional factors to reach a goal. Of course, you can not always have control over all of these things. That is the nature of life, but, your performance, if well, will definitely get you far. Indeed, you should strive to perform at your best. Plus, if you win, the victory is sweet.  In addition, when high performing athletes are on a winning streak, they try their best to keep it that way and give a good performance, and when the best athlete loses, they lose with dignity and grace. 
The average person who says that they want to be successful fails to just say what they really want. Therefore, they often end up stuck having little to no clues to how to get there and often stay in the dream phase or in the searching phase. They want to be able to spend more time with their family, they want to be able to provide more, they want more money, they want to be promoted at their job, they want a nice car, they want to pursue their passion, etc. If they focused on the specifics of what they really wanted, things would be clearer. If you ask someone what it takes to get these things, they could come up with an answer, plans that can be acted on. If you ask someone what it takes to be successful, they won't be able to give you a direct answer because it depends on what you want to gain from your success, what exactly you want to be successful at, and what routes you are willing to take. Success embodies the action, not the results. That's what separates people who continue to be successful from those that don't. They know this secret of success. They figure out exactly what they want, they set goals to achieve them, and the more goals they accomplish, the more their success mentality is strengthened and the more things they can put on their "wish list.” If you take everything they own away from them, they will likely take their success umbrella and continue to put things under it again and create more success driven areas of their life because they have developed an action-based success mentality.

Under this umbrella you are protecting anything in your life that you want to be successful at. These could be your relationships, your family, your health, your profession, skills, talents, etc. By the way, you want this umbrella to be the sturdy type because it's shielding all of the things you value from adversity.

You might be thinking, "Well, I'm not successful, so does that mean I don't have an umbrella?" I'm going to go ahead and say no, you don't. Now that that's out of the way, I will tell you that you can start building one whenever you like! All you have to do is decide why you want to be successful, then that should lead to you figuring out what it is you really want. Once you figure out what you want in life, you have an edge towards success, a clear vision of motivation that can drive you to be successful. Once you start taking action, the action will start to form you your own success umbrella! The good news is that you can continue throughout your life to strengthen it.

Successful people treat success as a principle and a practice, and, no adversity or any outside forces can destroy a person's principles, only that person can. Also, if success is a principle, then you can acquire it before you acquire things. Do you see where I'm going with this? What did every successful person do before they became "successful"? Once they knew what they wanted, they believed in their success instantaneously! They then practiced success, and thus, became filled with a successful attitude as they took necessary action towards the things that they wanted. They ultimately became successful, and, accordingly, manifested what they wanted.

The Idea of Detoxing

Many people, unfortunately, give a weird expression or response when you mention the idea of detoxing to them. Although there are many who do grasp the importance and "realness", if you will, of the concept of incorporating detoxing into their life, there are still many, far too many, who are ignorant, whether by choice or by social conditions, to the reasons behind detoxing, and why it is a necessary component to a healthy life.

I first gained an interest in detoxing through research of my own. No one in my family or my circle of friends had ever mentioned anything about detoxing to me. It was a foreign concept to me, as it still is to many. I actually had never heard of it until learning of it on my own by searching for ways to develop a better health. I've spent years now, researching ways to acquire an overall better quality of life, of course, taking a holistic approach to my learning. However, thus far, nutrition and body health has been a strong focus, and the concept of detoxing was one of the very first key factors I had come across. Ever since, I have valued it to be one of the most important factors in healing and maintaining a healthy body.

Growing up, I didn't always eat healthy. Let me rephrase that, I don't think I hardly ever ate healthy! In fact, my eating habits consisted of a lot of McDonald’s and other fast foods. I loooooved pizza...shhh, I still do! I would often eat frozen dinners...and not the "Healthy Choice" ones. As a child, I remember not drinking water because I didn't "like" it. I loved candy and junk food, and in my household, there was plenty of it for me. My mother would cook meals often enough so that I would occasionally get my serving of vegetables, but, when she didn't, which became more often than not after having three more children, I was left to live off of the frozen pizzas, chicken nugget dinners, hot pockets, and hot dogs. I know, that sounds bad, but, I was ignorant to what was good.

Then, of course, I carried these bad eating habits with me into my adulthood. When I moved into my first apartment, I hardly ever used my stove!

Any who, after suffering from health problems as well as depression, I started to wake up and realize that that lifestyle was not the one I was meant to live. I wanted something better. I hated going to the doctors for health issues, only to find that nothing they ever provided for me gave me any true healing or long-term relief. As far as the depression, I knew for a fact that I would not yield that information to a doctor. The last thing I wanted was a doctor telling me what I already knew; that I was depressed. They would only to give me yet more medicine, which, again, had never provided any long-term relief for me before, and I didn't expect it to give me any long-term relief now. All that medicine could possibly do for me was suppress symptoms. I didn't want any suppression, I wanted a cure! I definitely didn't want to go to counseling...why would I want to talk to a stranger and I didn't even want to talk to those close to me?

I started researching. I thank God that I had finally instilled it in my mind that I was going to work on improving my life and turn all of my negative dispositions into positive outcomes, no matter what it took, and no matter how long it took.

I was introduced to the world of raw food. I was intrigued enough to use a 100% raw food as my first method of detoxing years ago. It lasted for a few days. I will never forget how much I went to the bathroom and how much weight I lost! Not being educated enough on what I was doing to my body, I had a near break down right after and my health problems seemed to get worse. I quickly went back to my bad eating habits...McDonald’s chicken sandwiches, fries, and shakes...almost everyday after work!!

With that being said, I knew that I didn't want to give up forever. I continued researching, making it a habit in itself. I learned that detoxing is essential, but, for a body that never detoxes, it can be initially very shocking to it. Many people may detox and either don't follow through because of the shocking feelings and withdrawal symptoms, and/or dismiss the idea altogether because of problem symptoms they have that seem to get worse during or after the detox. This is a natural, but, not long-term, body reaction that I was not initially aware of.

The more I learned about the body's ability to heal itself, I fell passionate to the truth that what you eat has a ton, a load, an EXTREME impact on the way you think, feel, look, live, and all of the bodily conditions that you have. Not only did I begin experimenting with preparing full meals, I taught myself how to prepare healthy meals. I discovered that I love cooking this way. Incorporating new spices, herbs, and an array of veggies into meals and inventing your own nutritional dishes is fun! I used to pass on salads at restaurants, now I am the salad making queen! Restaurant salads are boring :-)

Of course, as you may have gathered this is not something that happens overnight. It's a process that has to turn into a way of life. There are so many things to learn about the human body, food, and how they interact with each other, so many things to learn about the S.A.D. diet, or the Standard American Diet, so many things to learn about the way you should be eating, what foods can help you achieve this, not to mention the intricacies of raw foods, cooked foods, herbs that heal, etc.

You might be saying, this is too complicated or, where on earth would I start? I remember my mom starring at me in the kitchen while I tediously spent time cutting up an array of fresh veggies to put in my salad. She said, "That's why people don't do that, it takes too much work." I responded by saying, "It's worth it." Now I don't pay attention to the time it takes, I just do it and enjoy doing it. Indeed, after years of McDonald’s, cookies, cake, ribs, and indulging in a combination of every culture's food and seeing billboards everyday to keep us reminded of it, there is GOING to be temptation and you may be glued to some of your weaknesses for a while, but, you can make a drastic change in how often you fight that temptation, and what bad habits you will replace. You can start your new habits by building a foundation of respect for your body. Start by detoxing. Done right, it can provide as a strong leader to your health journey. When I say done right, I mean don't just go to the health food store and buy some detox pills. Instead, research the topic first. Learn what you are doing to your body. Learn how you can prepare for a detox, the ways that you can detox, the length you want to detox, how often you should detox, and what exactly are you detoxing! This will not only be a gesture of you respecting yourself and your body, but you will learn a lot about ways of health that you never knew, encouraging you to value the detox process, your body, and empowering you to maintain new healthy eating habits and living practices.

A lot of people get discouraged when they think about losing weight, setting health goals, or even just developing healthier eating habits. What people fail to realize is that the change needed to successfully accomplish any of these things should be viewed as a change within your lifestyle, and not just a temporary fix. Eating is a mandatory way of life! We wouldn't be human if we didn't eat. We eat everyday, all throughout the day. So obviously, making any change to how we eat is huge! In other words, it's ok to have that initial fear or resistance. But my point is that most people tend to give up and succumb to the defeat of the discomfort of the change, the confusion of what foods to eat, how to prepare it, etc. They feel as though they are not interested in learning, yet they want their desired weight, they want their health problems removed, they want more energy, and they want it now! Commercial businesses that advertise commercial chemical filled products that proclaim to solve your problems feed off of your impatience, yet, they will never feed you want you really want or what you really need. Yes, there is a lot to be learned in order to develop a new lifestyle, but, it is worth it. Any change that you can make to benefit your health, whether small or big, is worth it. You can start small by doing a detox for as short as two to three days. What value there is in a free education that will not only increase your intellect, but increase the quality of your life? If you don't value your body who will?

What's important to remember is that if something has the potential to increase the quality of your life in any measure, then it is well worth trying until you succeed. In fact, working on your health and the way you eat is something that should be done for the rest of your life, hence earlier when I stated it is a way of life that needs to be developed. Of course, in the beginning, as with any habit you are trying to develop, it may seem as though you have to obsess over it just for it to work at all, and again, that may seem like just too much work. Trust me, this is ok and healthy and better than giving up! Obsess over it! Drill it into your head that you want to kick old habits to the curve and develop new ones! This is just a secret to success. You do want to be successful at your health, right?

You may have guessed that gaining good health doesn't only depend on a detox, but, if good health is one of your goals, then you might want to start with the idea of detoxing...That's where I started.

Remember that eating is a way of life. Eating healthy is a way of health. Keep your life healthy!