Are You Ready For Sex?

Sex, today, does not equal relationship. However, should it? Even though it is bluntly exemplified throughout the world that men are more likely to be willing to have sex without any prerequisites, maybe they should...?

Of course, nowadays, many women also fall into this category. If these individuals don't mind scoring on the first night, or whenever it's convenient, that is their prerogative. However, if you know that you are not the type of person that would feel good after a "hit and run", for instance, if you are emotional, sensitive, and all of the rest, then you should follow some guidelines before crossing the line. Avoid trusting the untrustworthy, and bypass the broken heart with this check-off list. If you answer no to these questions below then, maybe, you're not ready.

1. Do you know enough about your partner?

Is this person more of a stranger, associate, or friend to you? The closer they are to you the safer your emotions might be when it comes to the aftermath of sex.

• Do you know their last name?
• Do you know their middle name?
• Do you know what their occupation is?
• Do you know anything that they like to do in their spare time?
• Have you been on numerous dates already?
• Have you been to their house or place of residence?
• Have you met any of their friends?
• Have you met any of their family?
• Do you know things about their history?
• Can you point out things that they like to do? A favorite movie or food? A habit?
• Do you know how this person feels about you? Are you confident about it?
• Are you always comfortable around this person and never uneasy about something?
• Can you tell someone else 10 concrete things about this person?

• Do you know about your partner's sexual history? Have you both been tested and aware of the results?
  

2. Have you developed your "cuddle hormone" or "bonding hormone"?

This hormone is associated with nurturing and generous affection. It's name is Oxytocin. "Unconditional love", friendships, heartwarming and gushy feelings are all formed due to oxytocin. Both men and women produce oxytocin, but women release more of it than men. This chemical has a bonding affect between two people and triggers the feeling of comfort. It's main function is to bond us to our children for life. "Oxytocin reduces cravings and increases sexual receptivity. This allows making love without orgasm to be surprisingly satisfying. The affection is always there, flowing between you and your partner", claims Marnia Robinson, the author of "Your Brain on Sex", which can be found at www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain. That should take care of any size problems too, ladies.

3. Have you decided to take, or are you on a form of birth control?

Taking a form of birth control (i.e the pill, the patch, etc) is mostly common for women. You should be firm in whether you want this to be a part of your regimen when it comes to sex. For the possibility of a mishap with a condom during sex, and/or if you and your partner "slip up", birth control can be a wise choice. If you and your partner are both tested, confidently aware of each other's results, and, you both are open to the option of, on any occasion, having sex without the protection of a condom, then you should be on another form of birth control such as the ones mentioned. If you are firm on not taking birth control, as many women are, due to the many side effects and unholistic nature of birth control, and you still choose to have, or are willing to have sex without a condom, then you should be fully aware and accepting to the possibility of becoming pregnant. This should, undoubtedly, be a mutual understanding between both you and your partner.

4. Whether you are a woman or man reading this, do you know how to properly use a condom?

Condoms should be changed after each sex act.
Use the condom from the start... the amount of semen that leaves a penis before ejaculation can be enough to cause disease or pregnancy.
Never wear more than one condom at a time. The friction can lead to rupturing.
When putting the condom on, you must leave a space at the top to catch semen.
Take the condom off after sex. A soft penis can lead to seeping semen. (Andrews, Jessica C. "Summer Safe Sex Guide." Essence July 2010: 145-146)

5. Last but definitely, not least, do you want to?
This may sound silly, but it is probably the first question you should ask yourself if you are confronted with the situation at hand. Sometimes, temptation beats us to the punch, and before you know it, you are faced with sex before you have asked yourself any of these questions mentioned throughout this guideline. In the mist of your emotions, you must be able to remember that you can override them and think logically, if even for just a moment. That's all it takes, but a ton is what it is worth. Do you want to have sex, given whatever the current circumstances are? There are two answers to this question: yes and no. If you doubt, then your mind is working for you, letting you know that the action taking place should stop. It is distracting you from something that you want to confirm with yourself, or something that is against your will. This could be anything from you wanting to be married to someone first to you wanting to get to know or trust someone better. If only you could step away and take sometime to think, you would figure out what that thing is. "When your answer to this last question, "Do you want to?" is undoubtedly yes, you will know, and thus, you might just be ready.